Came down with an awful cold last week, high fever and liquid lungs. I quickly passed it on to the fam. It’s scary watching a two year old cough like an old smoker. I was too busy sleeping most of the time to take too much notice, though. It’s left me quite winded. I think it’s all the buildup in my lungs, making it hard to breathe and catch my breath, I feel all asthmatic now. This is always when I’m at my worst, as the seasons change. The coming of Spring marks the coming of a cold. And now I sit here hacking up the remnants of it.
I need to move back to San Francisco where there are no such things as Seasons, at least not in the East Coast sense. “Summer” is that period in October when the clouds recede to let the strong nocal sunlight in and “winter” is that chilly period in February when it rains a bit more than usual. Of course, there’s that slight concern that the ground under your feet will eventually liquify and send blocks of buildings toppling onto your head, but mortality creeps in one way or another and I think I’d rather bite it from “the next big one” rather than some unnamed Asian bug.
Of course, that all assumes I have some plan of what to do with my life. Which, at this point, is kind of in limbo. I’m in that cycle of work->home->sleep->work that’s so easy to get caught up in. I’ve thought about starting up another live-action rpg, and I know I definitely want to go back to school, eventually. But for now I’ve just been trying to tread water. Life is expensive around here, and a lot of times more expensive than I can afford. And somehow I’ve got to move from this paycheck to paycheck game and into spending over $10k on a wedding in, oh, 6 months. Maybe then I’ll be in a better position to reevaluate this whole life situation. A bit naive, perhaps, to push off things like that, but the wedding is kind of an event horizon right now, after which everything is sucked into the black hole of married life. Not to say that being married is equatable to a black hole from which nothing escapes… but just that it is impossible for me to see what happens beyond that event horizon until I have crossed its threshold. I’ll let you know about further comparisons to a black hole after the wedding.
Summer slowly creeps towards us again. Here’s to hoping it’s a good one.
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